My real name is Angel Waterfield and I am here to teach cats.
Little Muffin can now weave in and out of poles with the command “Dodge.”
Little Freckles can jump through hoops made out of fire and it is no Hodge podge.
Little Paisley can roll over and do a somersault like a real acrobat.
Even the Little Charlie can shake her paw like a dog and not a cat.
It took me years to develop these feline skills.
With time and patience and a little food, they can move maybe not mountains but at least hills.
Now, if I can only teach Mattie to fetch I would feel a great sense of accomplishment.
But no matter what I do his fetching is a non-event.
I have tried the tiniest twig that he could pick up to no avail.
He just circles the twigs, stretches his long white back, and I fail.
I tried everything, even ice cream to make him fetch.
But that didn’t sit well with a cat of course and the poor thing wretched.
These little furry friends are the joy in my life.
I have high expectations of them and it causes the Waterfield family a lot of strife.
I had to change my name and wear a hat.
I was notoriously know as a crazy cat lady and fat.
I gained weight being all alone on a mission to teach these feline friends.
But I powered through the stares and glares and now my life is on the mend.
I finally broke through with Mattie and the twig.
He know picks it up and returns it to me which is very big.
Now people come from all over to see my cats perform.
I put on a show and in all types of weather, even a storm or if it is very warm.
They put dollars in a bucket and clap and laugh.
Maybe I will graduate from cats and move on to giraffes.
But no, I love my cats too much.
They are true geniuses, and they are my crutch.
So come to the show and see these daring kittens used to only curling up in your lap.
You will laugh, you will cry, and you will clap.
So, “Kitty kitty, come here,” is no longer all we can do.
Advancement in kitty commands is the future show of aahs and woo-woos.